Thursday, April 15, 2010

How To Be Single

It is like a woman’s quest to find a good looking guy to have on her arm. Once the most recent male departs in the sunset, she is out exploring for the next one to conquer. It is almost as if women are scared to be single – they would rather be unhappy with someone, than be happy and single. You see, when a woman hears the word ‘single’ she immediately pictures herself alone, looking after five cats and watching Days of Our Lives. I don’t know what is scarier: being alone, having five cats, or watching Days of Our Lives. Days of Our Lives, definitely.

You get women who genuinely enjoy the single life – la dolce vita ;) (I will admit - I am one of them). We don’t just say we love to be single and secretly go home, eat a tub of ice cream and cry at the fact that we don’t have anyone special. No. We really and honestly prefer not being in a committed relationship. Not for the clichĂ© reasons that people just tell you to make you feel better about the bastard who just cheated on you and left you heartbroken and even worse – single!
No, we enjoy the singlehood for all the greatness and delight that comes with it.

Like those nights out with the girls? You know – the ones where you promised to never, ever dance on the bar again but after all the free Jagermeister that the cute guy at the bar bought you and your friends, there you are. Breaking it down. On the bar. Those nights that you talk about for the next few days because it was just too much fun: you actually get to have those nights often!

When women get into relationships, they get tied down and let themselves go: they start seeing friends less and less until they just don’t even pretend to try and make an effort; they stop having that spontaneous fun in order to be the ‘perfect girlfriend’; and they change their life so much to fit into the life of their man, that they actually lose themselves. Not always, but a lot of the time it does happen, and so when they get broken up with they ask themselves: “how do I be single?!”

So here is a little bit of advice from someone who knows how to be single the way a professional athlete knows about training routines:

Rule 1: Just because you are single – doesn’t mean you have to be alone.
Those cooking classes you always wanted to take with your man? You are fully capable of taking with a group of friends.

Rule 2: Learn how to dance the night away.
A major factor in the single girl’s life is to be able to go out and have fun – whenever she pleases. Those nights with the girls, really are what makes being single such a lot of fun. Make a routine with your girls to go out once a week – whether it is to have a few cocktails or to dance until sunrise – these are then nights you can let go and really enjoy yourself.

Rule 3: Make decisions, only with yourself in mind.
When you are in a relationship, it is impossible to make outrageous and selfish decisions. Decisions to follow your dreams, or just spontaneous fun decisions. This is your chance to be completely selfish: take a month off to go backpacking and follow that band on their Europe tour, or even just spend some cash that should have gone towards the house on a full-house spa treatment - the word ‘house’ is in there, so technically it is not completely off topic ;)

Rule 4: Make good sexual decisions.
We need to remember that in today’s world: women are never safe. So while it is great to be single and be able to get a nice variety, it is also very dangerous to be in situations that might expose us to diseases or to strange men that could be dangerous. Make sure you get your fun – you have every right to, but just make sure you are safe in every aspect of it.

Rule 5: Enjoy it.
There is no doubt that one day we will settle down, get married and have a couple of kids to carry on our legacy – wooohooo. But until then, enjoy the times you spend while single. Instead of worrying whether you will be alone for the rest of eternity, and getting all emotional about why it never seems to work out with you and relationships: just enjoy it. Enjoy the freedom, enjoy the good times, and enjoy the thought that after all the good single times you are going to find a great man and have a wonderful family.

It doesn’t take much to be single and enjoy it – just a few simple rules that can keep your mind in the right place. There we go ladies, it doesn’t seem so bad – does it? No, once you get the hang of it, being single is anything but bad. Maybe my opinion is just a little biased though, coming from someone who isn’t scared of being single, but rather the opposite. Maybe it is my turn for a change: so while you are all learning ‘how to be single’, I guess I should be learning ‘how not to be single’... hmmmm. Maybe next month ;)


  1. More women need to read this. I know more than one women who are in bad/abusive relationships simply because they think it's the best they'll ever get (they may not admit that to anyone, let alone themselves) and they don't want to be 'alone.'

  2. That was soo well said-amazing post!! :) I'm with you--> the single life is amazing! Women need to be a little bit more confident in themselves.. and if you cannot be comfortable with yourself, how can you be comfortable in a relationship.. I rate finding a man won't help you 'find yourself'..

  3. So glad you visited me :) found you in return :)
    Totally agree with steve :) love the way you write missy will be back for sure :)
    Happy writing till then :)

  4. You said it all and it is quite real and happening! and i have been applying all this and more - but i still have that spot 'empty' and as a person of commitment and bonding - single dom is a no no! I am just living through not happily but because fate wants it this way :)

    thanks for the visit!

  5. I LOVED THIS!!! I used to love the single life.. and I knew the ins and out of it also!! I guess once you get into a relationship and it ends it is like you forgot the love of singlehood!! I am glad you came to my blog and I will sure be back to this one I am going to add it to my links!!

  6. Hahaha!
    Is there a similar guide for men somewhere?

  7. It all makes sense... Thanks for dropping by my blog. Nice place you've got here.



  8. WEll you should write on Men's point of view too.. IT depends on situation.. you can be happy in a relation too.. If both are happy...

    I like the article maybe i shud send it to my Ex ha ha ha :) give her some advice...

  9. Enjoyed reading the article. Though it's meant for women but it's quite sensible for men too. But hey, wait, there in the last point you erred -

    ...and enjoy the thought that after all the good single times you are going to find a great man and have a wonderful family.

    If you are really so in favor of being single and so enjoy it then you should never be getting that thought. Getting that thought means somewhere deep down inside you are NOT HAPPY with the situation.

    That's my take. Carry on blogging. Take care! :)

  10. Liked it.
    May be not all of it.
    But, ya MOST of it :)


  11. OMG i am one of those pathetic gil who keeps eating ice cream for being single n shed tears when sees couples walking hand in hand :(

  12. Hii,
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    Waiting for your revert


  13. nice :)

    you did what, you changed my thought pattern on girls :D

    cheers sister !

  14. I'm glad I came through your blog... its nice indeed =)

  15. love the rules...especially rule 2..since i have "dunnit" :P