Tuesday, June 29, 2010
A Memory On Every Corner
There will always be that one person you don’t want to forget – that one person you have to let go of, even though every bone in your body wants them. Tonight reminds me of him. The cold air hitting me as I gaze among the stars that seem extra bright make me remember him. I remember him, and I remember feeling warm when I was with him, even though the night was cold. It was cold, but not lonely. He is the type of guy that you don’t find very often. The type of guy that you fall for – but not because of his perfection. No, you fall for him because of his flaws. They seem to be so well suited to him, making him who he is, and you could not imagine him any other way. All the imperfections come together to create someone so perfect for you. It is kind of beautiful, really, how putting the flaws together creates something so perfect.
I knew it would never work out between us, there were always the past ghosts from both our sides as well as the inconvenience of distance – so letting go the first time wasn’t just an option, but rather a formality. But now: now when I come here, to this place where the sound of his husky voice could turn my whole world upside down in a good way, I remember him. It is hard not to. There is a memory in every single corner. Every few steps remind me of something he said or did in that exact position. I remember him, and I remember us, and I don’t want to forget it. I don’t want to forget the time we sat on the beach drinking and talking for hours under the cerulean sky. I don’t want to forget the way he made me smile when just moments ago it felt like everything was falling apart. I don’t want to forget the tears he had in his eyes when it was time to say goodbye. As hard as it is to remember, and knowing it is gone, I don’t want to forget. But I guess with a memory on every corner, forgetting is the last thing I will ever do.