It is usually the people that you never expect to even like, that you fall for the hardest. They seem to surprise you, making you see them in a whole new light. Whether it is a small gesture like leaving a rose on the seat for you on the first date, or getting to know that person and falling for how sexy it is that they are so passionate about flying – they have done something to change your mind and give them a second glance. It is like one day you are rolling your eyes every time you get a message from them, and the next day you could think of nowhere better to be than sitting together telling stories behind all your scars: physical, and emotional. Those types of falls are the best: they are unexpected, new, and leave you yearning for the next unforeseen step. It is like experiencing the uncovering of a mystery. But just as there are certain people you never expected to fall for, there are certain people you never expected to be hurt by.
You see, as beautiful as the unexpected can be when beginning something wonderful, it can also break your heart when things unexpectedly end badly. He taught me something new every day. He taught me about flying, about the stars, about Rod Stewart. And while he taught me why the sky is blue, he also showed me how to turn my sky grey. Now I wish I could go back – I would ask him to teach me how to slow my heart beat down, instead of listening to his beating fast. I would ask him to teach me how to keep my head up high and never look back. Now, if I could go back, I would ask him to teach me the signs of false promises, false care, and false intentions. He taught me how to care deeply for him, but he never taught me how to stop.
It is clear to see that the blame is on me in so many ways: I fell for someone who was never really mine. While I gave him care, he gave me the intention to care, and that – that is not enough. So I walked away, and he turned his back: and we are moving on. Him, more so than me. I am still walking alone, but I am walking towards happiness. And while I walk away, I can walk away knowing that this man has left an imprint in my life: this man who has taught me why the sky is blue. I may not ever lie in bed all Saturday morning with him, listening to Rod Stewart again – but now I can listen to Rod Stewart and while relating to his songs, feel less heartbroken each day. “I couldn't have tried anymore/you made a first-class fool out of me/but I'm as blind as a fool can be/you stole my heart and that’s what really hurts/I wish I'd never seen your face/I'll get on back home one of these days.” And just there, in that last line, I see my hope: I will get back home, one of these days.